All Bodies Are Good Bodies: How to Reduce the Impact of Weight Stigma on Kids
Author:
Chrissy King
Weight stigma, which refers to an individual or group of individuals being discriminated against for having a larger body, shows up for kids even in their early school years. This can take the form of name calling, cyberbullying and physical harm. While it may be nearly impossible to protect kids from experiencing the harsh realities of anti-fat bias in the world, we can do our best to support them if it does occur and also help them feel confident and worthy, while creating a peaceful relationship with food.
With that in mind, here are four tips to help kids navigate anti-fat bias and weight stigma.
Tip 1: Start with ourselves.
It’s nearly impossible to truly support kids with food and body image without developing a healthy relationship with our own body image and unlearning our own implicit bias about bodies. If we are harboring anti-fat bias and weight stigmas ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, this will show up in the way we parent.
We can begin the process of educating ourselves and unlearning by reading books and listening to podcasts. Some great resources on these topics are:
- The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonja Renee Taylor
- The Body Liberation Project by Chrissy King
- Unshrinking: How to Face Fatphobia by Kate Manne
- Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith
For those who prefer listening, Maintenance Phase and Burnt Toast are also fantastic resources.
Tip 2: Speak positively about food.
Although it’s nearly impossible to escape diet culture completely, speaking positively about food within our households can help children foster a healthy relationship with a variety of food groups. Resist the urge to refer to certain foods as “junk food” or “bad for you.” Encourage the consumption of a wide variety of foods, without specifying that certain foods are “healthier” than others.
Additionally, it’s best to avoid the practice that kids eat all their food before being allowed to eat dessert. I grew up being forced to eat foods, even ones that I didn’t enjoy, before I was granted access to sweets. Forcing me to eat Brussels sprouts because it was “healthy” for me didn’t make me fall in love with Brussels sprouts. Moreover, it actually set me up for disordered eating habits later in life when I engaged in long-term extreme calorie counting and forced myself to eat foods that I very much disliked because they were prescribed by my weight loss coach. Beyond that, the “clean your plate” mentality teaches us that we have to earn the right to eat what we enjoy.
Tip 3. Normalize body diversity and fat bodies.
Diet culture, a system of beliefs that worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, is in the air we breathe; it’s inescapable. With the rise of Ozempic and similar products being used for weight loss, children are being exposed to the concept of weight loss earlier and earlier and being conditioned to believe that being in a larger or a fat body is a bad thing. With that said, it’s important to normalize that all bodies are good bodies and that none are better than others. Being fat is not bad, and we need to help our children understand that. For example, if your child points at someone and exclaims “that man is so fat,” instead of chastising them and saying “don’t be rude,” try saying “yes, people come in all different shapes and sizes.”
This also includes how parents and caregivers talk about their own bodies. As adults, many of us have vivid memories of our parents or close family members talking about weight loss and dieting or complaining about disliking their own bodies. If we seek to foster healthy body image in our children, we have to lead by example and that starts by speaking noncritically about our own bodies as well as the bodies of others.
Tip 4: Start the conversation.
Kids are extremely resilient, but they also need space for discussion and dialogue about situations that may arise or feelings and insecurities they may be having about their bodies. It’s important to create environments that feel safe and where open communication is encouraged and modeled.
Additionally, it’s helpful to offer positive reinforcement to build self-esteem, confidence and self-worth through nonphysical compliments such as “you’re so brave,” “you’re so smart,” “you’re so funny” or “you did such a great job.”
Learn more about the impact of weight stigma here. Together, we can set our kids up for a peaceful relationship with food and their bodies.
This content is reflective of this individual’s lived experiences. It is intended for informational purposes only. This piece is not to provide medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
Check this out next: Listen to our Mental Note podcast episode “Fat in a Thin World,” featuring Aubrey Gordon and Kara Richardson Whitely.
