Struggling With Food? When & How to Ask for Help

Like many aspects of being human, mental health experiences vary from one individual to another. Although we may have similar qualities or shared experiences, we’re each our own person. Since everyone is unique, it can be difficult at times to tell if what we’re experiencing is something that will pass on its own or if we might need some support. It’s important to know that you do not have to “hit rock bottom” before you deserve to seek help.

For whatever you’re going through…

• If you’re wondering whether or not your concerns with food, exercise or your body are “normal” or “really that bad” 
• If people close to you have voiced concern about your relationship to food (and/or exercise and/or your body), but you wonder if their thoughts and feelings are valid 
• If you’re questioning whether or not professional support could make a difference

… it’s okay to ask for help.

Common eating disorder signs and symptoms

Eating disorders can show up differently for everyone. The signs and symptoms can vary widely based on the specific eating disorder diagnosis and individual it impacts, but here are a few possible signs and symptoms:

• Intense shame or fear related to food, eating or body image – sometimes feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed or guilty after eating
• Skipping meals or avoiding eating with others – sometimes eating alone because of feelings of embarrassment stemming from how much one eats
• Total lack of interest in food or intense preoccupation with food (obsession with food cleanliness, food labels – including calorie count, etc.)
• Being a “picky” eater (avoiding foods due to texture or consistency, refusing to try new foods, requiring foods be prepared in a specific way, etc.) 
• Loss-of-control eating behaviors like night eating/nocturnal eating, eating past fullness or when not hungry, and impulsive eating or compulsive food behaviors like eating food out of the garbage
• A drive to change one’s weight, body size or shape, at any cost 
• Use of behaviors to compensate for calories consumed, including purging (making yourself vomit), restricting/fasting, overexercising, etc. 
• Increased irritability, low self-esteem or moodiness
• Withdrawal from friends, family and “normal” activities/routines

*If you have or don’t have one or more of the signs/symptoms listed above, it doesn’t necessarily mean you do or don’t have an eating disorder. Learn about additional eating disorder signs and symptoms, and getting a no-cost assessment, on our website here: EatingRecoveryCenter.com/conditions. 

Experiences like the ones mentioned above are important to be mindful of and to share about with a healthcare professional. If you notice these signs/symptoms showing up for a loved one (child, spouse, family or friend), or they express experiencing these symptoms, gently speak with your loved one about your concern for them – and encourage them to share openly with a healthcare professional. 

Additional note for family/friends: It can be hard to know what to say when you’re worried about someone. It is almost always the most helpful to lead with curiosity, compassion and expression of loving concern rather than assumptions, accusations or attempts to control. Learn more about the “dos and don’ts” of supporting a loved one here: EatingRecoveryCenter.com/downloads/eating-recovery-caregiver-do-dont

When it’s time to ask for help

Being in isolation (or keeping things to ourselves) while struggling with an eating disorder can feel scary and confusing. Not only can an eating disorder be difficult to address solely on our own, but the symptoms themselves can keep us from truly understanding or seeing the full picture of our own circumstances. Distorted body image, worsening mental health symptoms (like depression, anxiety, or OCD), and malnutrition can all contribute to our difficulty seeing a way through.

Here are a few (of many) possible signs that Eating Recovery Center (ERC) could be a helpful resource for you (or your loved one):

• You suspect you might have an eating disorder, or you know you have an eating disorder, and you’re looking for an intensive, comprehensive care team to support your recovery.
• Eating disorder symptoms are getting in the way of the things you love (e.g., keeping you busy/preoccupied and away from family/friends, making it difficult to find energy for weekend plans or hobbies).
• Eating disorder symptoms are getting in the way of day-to-day tasks (like being able to go to school/work, being able to keep up with housework, being able to achieve necessary nutrition intake for your health).
• Eating disorder symptoms have become too much to manage by yourself and/or with your support network (family/friends and/or outpatient providers).
• Eating disorder symptoms are exacerbating or causing medical complications or medical instability.

Reminder: You do not have to “hit rock bottom” before you ask for help.

Taking the first step

Allowing ourselves to “show up” just as we are with others present can be one of the most difficult, yet necessary parts of the eating disorder recovery process. When we share our worries, struggles or deep sadness with others in a safe and understanding space, something beautiful can truly unlock. On ERC’s end, that’s why we want to offer a compassionate admissions process for individuals to come exactly as they are.

“The average delay between the onset of mental health symptoms and when a patient seeks treatment is 11 years, so we take this assessment call very seriously [1]. It can take a lot for someone to make the first call, and so we want to handle it with care by creating safety, transparency and collaboration,” explains Brittany Lacour, LCSW, DAACS, director of clinical assessment at Eating Recovery Center and Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center.

Getting matched with the right support

Once you’ve taken the first step, you open up opportunities to find your own path forward. Since everyone is unique, the process of finding support and the support itself should have some flexibility to be customized. While structure and consistency are important, flexibility is equally important. At ERC, consideration of this starts at the very beginning.

“While we do have essential questions to answer during the assessment process, hearing how someone perceives their experience is essential to understanding,” shares Lacour. “We are listening to their personal narrative. As they share what brought them here, we guide them through with questions and prompts in a gentle way to gather that information. We are helping them to architect their narrative, and highlight not only what difficulties may be present, but also what strengths, resources, goals and desires are part of their story.”

Adds Lacour, “We want to make the assessment process accessible, and this could include using certain accommodations, having specific support people present, or even finding a time of day that fits their schedule. During the assessment, we ask about accommodations they are currently using in home/school/work settings, neurodiversity and barriers to care, to ensure we can provide them with a supportive experience.”

A real story of hope and healing

When you’re facing a struggle with food, knowing that others have been through similar experiences can make all the difference. Here, one former patient shares what reaching out for help was like for her, and the relief that came with it.

“I remember being terrified to make the call and take that first step toward recovery,” shares Kate Gombach, ERC alum. “It’s intimidating to call a stranger and admit your struggles, but I was reassured when they informed me they were a clinician and they showed clear compassion and understanding of my experience. I definitely cried during the initial call – it was really hard for me to share my story, and I was so overwhelmed and intimidated by the idea of getting help. The clinician was very understanding and empathetic, reminding me I was not alone, and they were there to help.”

So, what happens after that first call?

“I was honestly surprised by how relieved I felt by the end of that initial call,” explains Gombach. “She let me know the different treatment options I had and which she recommended for me based on our conversation, but she also let me know I would be able to change paths if I felt I wasn’t receiving enough support. Truly having a say in my treatment plan was very empowering for me. It was the first step of many toward my recovery.” 

Are you ready to take your first (or next) step?

We’re here to offer you a space to voice your struggles, worries or concerns, and partner with you on how to move one step closer toward recovery. We will meet you where you are (with compassion, curiosity and care), listen to your story and match you with the level of support that meets your needs. There is no obligation within your first call. There are no strings attached – truly. Chat with us today.

Source

1. Wang, P.S., Berglund, P.A., Olfson, M., & Kessler, R.C. (2004). Delays in initial treatment contact after first onset of a mental disorder. Health Services Research, 39(2), 393–415. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6773.2004.00234.x